In view of the International Women’s Day we are delivering series of interviews on protecting women against domestic violence. This time we have invited one of the strongest voices on social media Ms E.Tseren, CEO of Tseren Tours.
Do you encounter violence around you?
I do. Violence touches not only children, but also adults are becoming victims of domestic violence.
Have you ever tried to stop violence by yourself? Reporting to a police?
I have. I reported to police on the dispute between strangers. It is much more difficult at the family. I tried to resolve conflicts in a family. It is not an easy task, I get attacked back, or the situation might worsen.
I have witnessed the case where wife has to travel to countryside with foreign tourists and husband would mistrust her. Every time I had to explain to husband, but it is not in my hands to fix the mind of a person.
What should be done to reduce such situations?
It is not a matter of telling it to Naraa, Saraa or Dorj. We do not have proper understanding about violence as such. We only see violence as sexual or physical abuse.
But mental abuse and fear are not perceived as a form of abuse as well. It seems like young couples rush and make decisions based on emotions only. Without knowing each other they start forming families.
In some cases it is inevitable that those families start to face problems and in the course of their problems start to neglect their children. This is all open to our eyes.
Many say it has become the norm and many say that child brought up among violence will be an offender later in life. How do we need to raise our children?
It is good to always look back on how your childhood was spent. It goes same with me. When I ask myself who is today’s Tseren? The answer is me as a child. On top of it I am mother. As parents we have to discuss on impacts we have on our children. Our manners form at the age of 3-6, but during that time we do not pay any attention to our children.
There are many children without any attention as well.
Nowadays, there are many children who do not attend to kindergartens. It becomes very difficult to talk to them about manners. We have to approach the problem as a whole. There is big gap in income in our country. Children attending schools in Zaisan area have very little understanding about middle class children and no idea about the poor life, while there are many kids who do not attend any schools and kindergartens.
We are paying too much attention on making money and are leaving behind the most important resource – human.
As I understand the latest case with the domestic violence is not the very first and not the very last. There have been many similar cases before. Sometime I tend to think if the government is neglecting these issues on purpose.
Government should apologize. In foreign countries officials will do the same. But here when child abuse ended a precious life of a girl, officials are being silent.
People on the contrary have gathered for silent meeting to express their anger and discontent. This movement should proceed until changes to be made in legal environment.
What can you do to stop violence?
With recent tragedy it became clear that I somehow have my voice at social media, because 7-8 people have approached me to express my thoughts on media on this case. Over 13 thousand people have expressed their thoughts and left many comments on my post with my photo at the lantern meeting. So concluding from this I can write about it and deliver my voice to people on violence.
Secondly, only talking and writing won’t be enough. We have to move until the adequate changes are made to legislation. Recent meetings have showed that many of us can unite and many NGO took part in it.
On top of it, Tseren is mother. I can contribute through my words to be heard. I give speeches to students; in this regard I will receive invitation to make a speech at schools as well. But with school kids we have to have simple approach. For instance, start it as a discussion on their experiences and finding solutions together on how stop any form of abuse at their homes, through open discussion and giving the understanding of what is human right and what rights do children entitled to.
Many examples show that violent past has its traces in the lives of many. One tends to become violent, if one had been abused during the childhood period.
Parents believe that physical punishment should exist or should not, or light spanking would never hurt a child. How do you raise your children?
There are different families in a society; it is hard to come up with one universal thing. For instance, my husband is a foreigner and at times we have differing views.
But the main focus in a family should be making proper decisions for their children. Every family has own culture and background. We have to think on how we can affect in that child’s life in a positive way. Most of the domestic violence happening in our society is happening in families where adults have audacity to vent their stress from work or relationship on helpless children.
Sometimes it is hard to believe that one is an offender by looking at one. I could not believe my eyes when I saw pictures of the possible offender of that four-year-old girl. From the looks I could never tell that person would do such a horrible thing.
Then I have suggested that psychologist should work with those offenders as well in order to study why or what circumstances lead those offenders to such things.
How do you raise your children?
We do not resemble any of the parents who are watching over every step of a child. We usually let our children be on their own. We make sure they eat on time and go to school no matter if they like it or not they have to study. We base our relationship on trust.
We encourage our children to express their views freely and not be afraid to always be themselves in any circumstances.
Thank you for your time.
In view of the International Women’s Day we are delivering series of interviews on protecting women against domestic violence. This time we have invited one of the strongest voices on social media Ms E.Tseren, CEO of Tseren Tours.
Do you encounter violence around you?
I do. Violence touches not only children, but also adults are becoming victims of domestic violence.
Have you ever tried to stop violence by yourself? Reporting to a police?
I have. I reported to police on the dispute between strangers. It is much more difficult at the family. I tried to resolve conflicts in a family. It is not an easy task, I get attacked back, or the situation might worsen.
I have witnessed the case where wife has to travel to countryside with foreign tourists and husband would mistrust her. Every time I had to explain to husband, but it is not in my hands to fix the mind of a person.
What should be done to reduce such situations?
It is not a matter of telling it to Naraa, Saraa or Dorj. We do not have proper understanding about violence as such. We only see violence as sexual or physical abuse.
But mental abuse and fear are not perceived as a form of abuse as well. It seems like young couples rush and make decisions based on emotions only. Without knowing each other they start forming families.
In some cases it is inevitable that those families start to face problems and in the course of their problems start to neglect their children. This is all open to our eyes.
Many say it has become the norm and many say that child brought up among violence will be an offender later in life. How do we need to raise our children?
It is good to always look back on how your childhood was spent. It goes same with me. When I ask myself who is today’s Tseren? The answer is me as a child. On top of it I am mother. As parents we have to discuss on impacts we have on our children. Our manners form at the age of 3-6, but during that time we do not pay any attention to our children.
There are many children without any attention as well.
Nowadays, there are many children who do not attend to kindergartens. It becomes very difficult to talk to them about manners. We have to approach the problem as a whole. There is big gap in income in our country. Children attending schools in Zaisan area have very little understanding about middle class children and no idea about the poor life, while there are many kids who do not attend any schools and kindergartens.
We are paying too much attention on making money and are leaving behind the most important resource – human.
As I understand the latest case with the domestic violence is not the very first and not the very last. There have been many similar cases before. Sometime I tend to think if the government is neglecting these issues on purpose.
Government should apologize. In foreign countries officials will do the same. But here when child abuse ended a precious life of a girl, officials are being silent.
People on the contrary have gathered for silent meeting to express their anger and discontent. This movement should proceed until changes to be made in legal environment.
What can you do to stop violence?
With recent tragedy it became clear that I somehow have my voice at social media, because 7-8 people have approached me to express my thoughts on media on this case. Over 13 thousand people have expressed their thoughts and left many comments on my post with my photo at the lantern meeting. So concluding from this I can write about it and deliver my voice to people on violence.
Secondly, only talking and writing won’t be enough. We have to move until the adequate changes are made to legislation. Recent meetings have showed that many of us can unite and many NGO took part in it.
On top of it, Tseren is mother. I can contribute through my words to be heard. I give speeches to students; in this regard I will receive invitation to make a speech at schools as well. But with school kids we have to have simple approach. For instance, start it as a discussion on their experiences and finding solutions together on how stop any form of abuse at their homes, through open discussion and giving the understanding of what is human right and what rights do children entitled to.
Many examples show that violent past has its traces in the lives of many. One tends to become violent, if one had been abused during the childhood period.
Parents believe that physical punishment should exist or should not, or light spanking would never hurt a child. How do you raise your children?
There are different families in a society; it is hard to come up with one universal thing. For instance, my husband is a foreigner and at times we have differing views.
But the main focus in a family should be making proper decisions for their children. Every family has own culture and background. We have to think on how we can affect in that child’s life in a positive way. Most of the domestic violence happening in our society is happening in families where adults have audacity to vent their stress from work or relationship on helpless children.
Sometimes it is hard to believe that one is an offender by looking at one. I could not believe my eyes when I saw pictures of the possible offender of that four-year-old girl. From the looks I could never tell that person would do such a horrible thing.
Then I have suggested that psychologist should work with those offenders as well in order to study why or what circumstances lead those offenders to such things.
How do you raise your children?
We do not resemble any of the parents who are watching over every step of a child. We usually let our children be on their own. We make sure they eat on time and go to school no matter if they like it or not they have to study. We base our relationship on trust.
We encourage our children to express their views freely and not be afraid to always be themselves in any circumstances.
Thank you for your time.